Lazy person post alert...

OK, I've just got around to filling this in on Facebook after being tagged by several other people, and thought it might inspire me to write a post. It hasn't yet. So I've cut and pasted in the hope that it will...and if you've already read it, well - you don't need to again. Bonus!

25 Random Things About Me

1. I love all my family and friends. Even though most of them are complete lunatics.
2. I wish I could become characters in books and films. I’d love to live in Harry Potter’s world. Or be Marty McFly’s sidekick. Or be a Goonie.
3. As well as being a shameless blogger, I'm also a brand new Twitterer. Look me up on Twitter (although I have no idea exactly how it works and what I'm supposed to do with it, yet): http://twitter.com/WitteringByGem
4. The worst job I did was promotional work – on one job I had to dress up as a reindeer (antlers, red nose and all) in supermarkets and sing Christmas carols.
5. I have had two ghostly experiences in my life!
6. I was once in Byker Grove but all you could see of me on screen were my elbow and shoe.
7. I love crap 80s films and music and can often be found dancing in my pjs in the kitchen.
8. I once got a part as Medusa in a school play because I was the girl who could remember lines and scream the loudest.
9. I really want to go to San Francisco, Oz and New Zealand. My favourite places I’ve been to so far are the Rockies, New York and New England.
10. I love cooking and experimenting in the kitchen (even when it all goes hideously wrong). Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone to chef school instead of uni.
11. I am allergic to red peppers and hate mayonnaise, boiled eggs and batter.
12. I have danced on stage with Keith from Boyzone, had a piggy back from Frank Bruno, and almost been run over by Michael Winner (who, despite those Esure car insurance adverts, is not a good driver, I assure you).
13. I have an MA in Film, and can’t decide what my favourite film is. It’s a very long list.
14. I cry all the time at anything – books, films (even pathetic ones), songs…and have even been known to sob over adverts.
15. I broke my toe 3 weeks before having to squeeze into wedding shoes, whilst intoxicated in my house with lots of friends playing giant Jenga.
16. I’m really good at coming up with one-liners and witty retorts about an hour after I needed them.
17. My family tree is nuts – I have an opera singer, the guy who played Tub in SuperGran, a drug baron and a woman who spontaneously combusted all on there.
18. My tipple of choice is the oh-so-70s Tia Maria and coke.
19. I’d love to have a dog but would feel too cruel leaving him in the house all day while I went out to work. I have a crazy cat instead.
20. I carry a notebook with me to jot down odd things I find, funny turns of phrase I hear and (seldom) good ideas I might have. I’d love to be a published author.
21. I would love to have a kitchen big enough to house an island in the middle. Where I could pretend to present my own cooking show.
22. I would quite happily let Gene Hunt give me a slap.
23. I would really love to have children one day but am absolutely terrified of being pregnant.
24. If I won the lottery I would open my own café with a proper deli inside (i.e. not a sandwich shop!). I have a name worked out and everything.
25. I seem to have a knack for hoarding trivia. Often useful in pub quizzes, always good for boring people to tears with.

Dammit, it still hasn't inspired me to write anything constructive yet.

Forget your troubles, c'mon get happy...

It may be a new year, but things seem to be looking pretty miserable at the minute with the economy collapsing ever more by the day and unemployment soaring. The predictions aren't too good for 2009. So, to counterbalance the doom and gloom we're fed by the news on a daily basis (and because I was a bit bored) I've made myself a happy forecast. All the things I'm looking forward to this year. Here are just a few:

• Feeling 15 again. One of my bestest friends in the whole wide world relocates from the Big Smoke this coming weekend and we'll be living in the same town again. I feel several teenage-homage sleepovers and drinking sessions are on the cards. Splendid.
• The inauguration. A fresh start for those across the pond in a week's time - although I think I along with many others will miss the ludicrous "Bushisms" we're so accustomed to hearing.
• Traveling a bit closer to home. I don't think I'll get away on a transatlantic jaunt or anything this year, but I'm looking forward to days out in places that are on my doorstep really yet I never have time to visit. Edinburgh, The Lakes, maybe a short hop over to Amsterdam or Barcelona, and my friend is getting married in Berlin this summer.
• Making the house our own. The foray into home decoration continues in 2009. Living room is done; porch, kitchen, dining room and bathroom to finish; bedroom and garden next on the list. We'll get there. Room by room, we'll get there.
  
• Vive la France. New Year can be such a let down - nothing magical ever happens when the clock strikes midnight. But I'll be ringing in 2010 with a group of chums in the middle of nowhere in Normandy. Good times lie ahead.
  
• Getting things in order at work. We're due a big office shift-around, and I'll be hopefully sitting with the rest of my team near a window instead of plonked on a row with The Most Annoyingly Voiced Coworker Ever Bar None. Good opportunity for me to get rid of the collapsing towers of paper that appear to have eaten my desk.
  
• Family and friends stuff. Visiting my sister in London Town; a couple of 30th birthdays; a 50th wedding anniversary; a wedding; crazy-themed birthday parties...who knows what else the year has in store?
  
• The Oscars. I love them. Sad but true. I try to stay up late each year to watch them but inevitably fall asleep and end up watching the main winners on the news. Along with the bad red carpet outfits.Hey, I can judge if I want to. They can't hear me.
  
• The next Harry Potter flick. How gutted was I when they knocked the release date back to July '09? Very. And, The Other Half has finally got around to reading all the books - so when we settle down to watch The Half-Blood Prince, he can ask himself what bits they've left out, instead of me. Hurrah!
  
• The longest eclipse for a century. Spacey things have always fascinated me, and this total solar eclipse in July will be lasting over 6 minutes, apparently. I won't be going to Bhutan to witness the event, however - but the t'interweb is a wonderful thing.
• First aid course. I've always wanted to do one and have finally got a place on the big 4-day course through work in February. Tying knots has never been a forte though, so I think I'm going to have to practice slings and bandages otherwise my casualties will look like extras in a war film.

Not too shabby a year, I think.

Scaraboosh, Scaraboosh, will you do the banned tango...

The first week back at work after all the Christmas gallivanting is always a bummer, so apologies for the lack of posts. Not that much has happened this week to report on, as it happens. I'm still weaning myself off the Christmas chocolates; met up with some gal pals on Thursday for some happy hour pizza and a catch up (always a winner when you're broke); took a half-day from work yesterday to attend the funeral of a very distant relative (was more there for the sake of other family members, and to serve quiche and tea at the wake than anything else); and ploughed my way through my bursting email inbox.

In fact, the most exciting thing (which highlights the tedium of my working life, sadly) to happen this week was a funny email circulated around some work bods featuring a catalogue of misheard song lyrics. You could tell who was bored at their desks and trying to while away the hours until home time by the guffawing and erupting ripples out laughter throughout the office. Which led me to think about my good mate S (moving back up here from The Big Smoke in a couple of weeks) and how we laughed and laughed at school over our other friend C - who thought the lyrics to a really bad dancey tune used often on 'Shooting Stars' with Vic Reeves leaping about inanely to it were "My lover has no money, he's on his trampoline." (Actual lyrics: "My lover has no money, he's got his strong beliefs." That's by Gala, if you care at all.)

This all tickled me so much I had to share:


But my favourite one on the email was this:

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves by Cher
Misheard lyrics: Give these tramps some peas!
Actual lyrics: Gypsies, tramps and thieves!

Hmm. Perhaps next week will be more thrilling?